Too often, my girlfriends come to me and claim that they can’t find a single good dress on Amazon. My head, of course, becomes automatically mounted on a swivel. I may not be a genius, but I was blonde once. I take after my foremothers Elle Woods, Paris Hilton, and Brittany Spears, and I shop like I mean it. In this post, you too can learn to shop like a dumb blonde. There is a method and a science, so grab the bleach and a notepad.
1. Narrow it down.
The options at the top of your shopping page to narrow down the number of options are going to be your very best friend. Decision fatigue is real, so save your eyes from wasting energy on non options. You’ll want to select, above all, that the dress is rated 4+ stars. High ratings are very important. Then, select your sizing, preferred colors, and any other embellishments you’ll want in this dress.
2. Photo analysis.
When you find a dress to investigate, you’ll want to take a good look at the presented photos. Be sure that they are not AI-generated, which is a major red flag. You’ll also want to check if the photos are consistent across the websites’ listings. Consistent photos mean real photographers and models, which means, more likely, a higher product.
3. Product descriptions.
Next, dive into the product descriptions. Look out for companies that have typos and other errors in the product descriptions, meaning they’ve got low-effort areas of their operation. Second, look into what the garment is made of. Especially low-quality garments, such as those made of 100% rayon, are not worth your time. I know it looks cute, but it will be dead in 5 washes. Another great feature to look for is clothes with adjustable straps or corset backs, meaning they’re more likely to fit you well on the first try.
4. The reviews are sacred scirptures.
Ok, not really, but you get the point. Hear me; IF IT LOOKS BAD ON EVERYONE IN THE REVIEW PHOTOS, IT WILL LOOK BAD ON YOU. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen a friend order a dress, and then being shocked it looks as bad as it did in the review photos.
Pay special attention to what people say, especially regarding fabric thickness, quality, and comfort. A pretty dress that turns you into a sausage is not worth it. A pretty dress that you can see straight through is also not worth it. A dress that consistently looks decent in review photos is much more likely to please you in real life.
5. Pay attention to sizing!
I know it’s inconvenient, but trust me, you’ll want to grab that tape measure. Measuring yourself whilst comparing to the size chart is sure to save you at least one return trip. You’ll also want to read deep into reviews to see if other shoppers notice the dress running small or large. Often, someone of similar size will leave a review and give you a starting point to select your size.
Once you add to cart, you can await happily, knowing you’ve shopped like a true, committed blonde. I am so proud.
