It was a sunny afternoon on Liberty Campus. I watched my friend, bright-eyed, talk about the latest fellow she’d made eye contact with at convo. Then came that famous sentence: “I just can’t wait to be married.”
As said by the great Dondi Costin, “Ring by Spring. Got em’ by Autumn. Bride by Yuletide. And if it doesn’t work out, Bummer by Summer.” This chatter, though harmless at face value, reveals a deeper fractured value system. For some young Christians, the pursuit of a spouse overshadows the pursuit of Christ, creating undue dissatisfaction and unreasonable expectations.
Many Christian heroes listed in the Bible remain unmarried. In fact, the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8,
“I wish that all of you were even as I am. But each of you has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do”
Of course, this all sounds easy for me to say as a person who is happily approaching engagement. But, I did not always think this way. When I’d first arrived at college, I’d decided to remain celibate my whole life. And the kicker was I was so happy to do so. Of course, we make plans, and God laughs. I now cannot wait to marry Erik, which I’d argue is entirely different from ‘can’t wait to get married.’
Having a desire on one’s heart to get married is a good and holy thing. But this desire can replace a desire to wholeheartedly pursue the Lord. The idolization of marriage breaks down intimacy with Christ, and the covenant that is marriage. Expecting one’s significant other to be everything you need them to be all the time is a surefire recipe for divorce.
To the young people of Liberty who simply cannot wait to be married, I urge them to search their hearts for why. Discontentment with the present of God’s plan assures discontentment with the future of God’s plan. God may be holding out on your spouse so you can learn to be happy with Him, the person who is all that you need, before handing you a life partner.